Being the trans in the closet at work has always been hard for me. My work is in the corporate world you see, unfortunately. Not that most people in the office have not figured out my sexuality yet, I'm sure they would have been talking/speculating/criticizing my personal life/sex preference behind me all this while, but I chose to keep quiet about it. I do not try (how silly it would be for me to) to cover up by telling lies about having GF or liking girls, gloating about straight guy's topics, or pretend to be straight acting too much, I just chose to keep quiet when it comes to personal or sensitive topics. And fair enough, they will never ask about it at work. Like I said, I'm pretty sure they'd figured it out themselves, without having me confessing or they asking. It has been hard like I said, but hey, I've been taking this for like 10 years ar least, so I'm pretty used to it by now. 
Although my sexuality has never been topics we discuss at work, but I know I still become a victim of discrimination when it comes to assessing my capabilities in my work. I try my best to prove them wrong, but being effeminate definitely forced me to work twice as hard just to do that. Effeminate as we know has always been viewed as weak or less capable. I still manage to stay OK in this harsh reality of the corporate world, but I do get my moments of discrimination.
Like recently, I was in this meeting where there were two MCPs (male chauvinist pigs) in there. The topic about measuring customer satisfaction came up. When it comes to churning out the results for C-Sat and reporting them to all the bosses, I am the only PIC. They were talking about certain challenges they faced when it came to intepreting the C-Sat results due to some limitations of the way the C-Sat survey was designed. One of the pigs decided to take to the short cut and said "This survey is just not accurate lah, the design is a flaw from the beginning. I say we scrap this stupid survey lah. How lah Mrs Phillippe, you're the owner right, your survey lah, eversince you came lah we have this..." Right at this point I decided I had it to the max. I stopped him and snapped back "Excuse me, hold it right there! I was never the one who 'designed' this survey. I am the end-user of this survey just like everyone else in this room. The whole reason why this survey fell on my lap was because no one in this company has the balls to even own it in the first place. So there was no owner right from the beginning. Just because I have the sense to take responsibility in churning the results does not make me the owner of this survey, let alone any of its limitations!" Right when I said the word 'balls' another woman in the room clapped her hands, obviously she was frustrated with that pig's comments as well. Although the pig said it jokingly, I knew the message was meant to attack me.
Then towards the end of the meeting the topic came up again. Rather than using their brains to think of a solution, the other pig decided to take the same route the 1st pig took and went "Aiyoh, yea lah, how lah, Mrs Phillippe, your survey ah..." Again, Mrs Phillippe will take no more crap, I stopped him and replied "Look, I don't know how else to say this if you cannot even understand simple English. I..AM..NOT..the designer of this survey. I don't know how to communicate with you lah!" And the rest quickly jumped to another topic.
I always hate it when I lose my temper, but sometimes I don't know how else I can face these discriminating, sexist pigs when they challenge my work unfairly. And the sad thing is, I know for a fact many more other effeminate PLUs get discriminated at my workplace. Being one of the management team who sits in the discussion when they decide which staff to promote, I hear with my own ears how they feel reluctant to promote certain staff just because they are outwardly gay or effeminate, despite whatever level of capapbilities they have.
Sad isn't it...
